Thursday, May 05, 2005

A (Brief) Open Letter to All Ex-Boyfriends, Lovers and Other Strangers

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I still love each and every one of you. I just don't want to recombine my DNA with you. I would consider the domestic thang if you:

1. hired a nanny and wet nurse;

2. stayed home cooked and cleaned;

3. understood I will have two husbands;

4. realized that you and the kids would rarely see me, I am a citizen of the World...hell, Universe; and

5. would let me just be glittery and free!

80 Comments:

Blogger Imara said...

Goldi, make sure you get to upgrade the second husband at your whim. A woman should always keep her options open! If you find the man that agrees to this, ask him if he has a brother!

12:30 PM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

Much Props for the Pic of Storm and Forge. I'm just wondering would Forge be the first and Gambit be the second husband.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

Ahh, Kudos to you miss Goldi. Forge and Storm. I always wondered why it wasn't Bishop or even me, Luke Cage. I like option #5. Just to be glittery and free. Now you're talking...

1:50 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Imara: Heh, heh, heh! You are a woman of my own heart! I have proposed this before. Cultural brothas loooooooove to preach the polygamy/build-a-nation thang--but as soon as I start talking about me having another husband in Spain or Senegal they are like @#$%^!^&* WHAT!

Amadeo: Nice of you to stop by (after much prodding). Quiet as kept,I think T'Challa (Black Panther) would be the mainstay.

Luke Cage: You know you turned my previous post into a back-in-the-day forum (lol).

2:29 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Damn, Goldi!! Where were you before I married hubby #1 & #2?? This would have made a GREAT PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT!!

2:40 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

>Cultural brothas loooooooove to preach the polygamy/build-a-nation thang--but as soon as I start talking about me having another husband in Spain or Senegal they are like @#$%^!^&* WHAT!

Exactly... a sistah just trying to build a nation! A nation of mens!LOL... a strong man, would appreciate your need to spread the love!

2:45 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Ladies, I don't ask for much. Just the above points and 13 inches...

3:24 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

>13 inches...

Daaammn!!

3:47 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

13 inches??? In the words of Chris Rock... Good Laawwwdd! That wouldn't be a manhood, that's an appendage.

And hey, you started that whole "70's/80's kung-fu Bruce Lee, Enter the Dragon" thingie that took a brotha back...way back...back into time!-lol- Old school's the best isn't it?

4:08 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Demasiado, demasiado!!!!

4:09 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

O.K. Wait just one MINUTE here !!!!!!Sistahs!!This Shit needs to STOP!!!!I turn my back for a minute and the comments go right in the gutter!!

Goldi, you are WRONG!!!!Imara, I'm ashamed !!:(:(:(!!!!!Nzyme......WHAT THE HELL EVER!!!

4:10 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Goldi, make sure you get to upgrade the second husband at your whim. A woman should always keep her options open! If you find the man that agrees to this, ask him if he has a brother!

If you find a man who agrees to this SHIT, ask him about his GAY LOVER!!!!!

4:15 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

I used to believe that the "Black Man's" average was 8, a girl friend corrected me and said it was 10. I'm like the Air Force I "Aim High".

Luke Cage: Old Skool is the best! When I have to introduce myself in a group setting (board meetings, etc.), I always say "I am a Pisces with a baaaaaaad moon rising that loves disco". Think Thank God Its Friday and Saturday Night Fever.

4:19 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Soundboyz--You are the epitome of evil!

4:21 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> I'm like the Air Force I "Aim High".

More like an Army of one.....:(

4:21 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

I like big dicks I can't deny
Especially if the brotha is fly
When I see a chocolate brotha with pretty teeth
And is well hung
This golden caramel sistah gets sprung!

4:30 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> I like big dicks I can't deny
Especially if the brotha is fly
When I see a chocolate brotha with pretty teeth
And is well hung
This golden caramel sistah gets sprung!

Goldi, I have invited Pastor Steve over here to read some of your insightful comments.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Ummmm,

I don't think Goldi is SKEEERRRED!!! There are a couple of local "missionary chicks" who read my blog and are praying for me. Cool, huh?? Prayer chicks!!

5:27 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

^ When you say missionary do you mean sex the ol' fashioned i'll-just-lay-here-and-take-a-nap way?

6:33 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> ^ When you say missionary do you mean sex the ol' fashioned i'll-just-lay-here-and-take-a-nap way?



Goldi,you're starting to make me nervous.........

7:49 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

oohh yeah..seems like the party is well and under way already! What was the original post about again???

8:01 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

^ sigh. my conversations in "real" life are like this too i.e.:
Co-Worker: "Sis. Goldie did you have the opporunity to meet with Mr. Foundationguy about the proposal's budget?"
Goldi: "Why yes, we went down on it over and over again. My mouth gets tired just thinking about it."
Co-Worker: "Come again?"
Goldi: "I wish I did." (Badump-bump annnnnnd rimshot).

Hmmm rimshot...that would be the toss salad conversation at Soundboyz' blog.

See how it just happens?

9:26 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Goldi, I think my worst fears are being realized when it comes to the advanced stages of sexual repression. You are being entirely misconstrued by everything you write and say!!I fear if you don't get some treatment Goldi......Why, theoretically , you could turn into a walking,talking,bumbling mess.

Goldi, is it getting hot in Savannah?

9:48 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Actually, what it is I have been inhaling glue and glaze for three days straight. In addition my creative energy is a mixture of sex and aggression that makes for a delightful cocktail, don't you think?

Warning: I'll be like this for the entire month!

11:25 AM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

The entire month? Whoa! That'll make for some interesting blogs. Not to mention some great threads as well miss Goldi. Inhaling glue doesn't get as much props as it should. But that cocktail sure sounds deadly. Only to be wielded by apt and responsible individuals. Well, that counts me out!

11:35 AM  
Blogger Goldi said...

My daily routine/mantra is as follows: Praise/pray, create, workout, blog and booty shake.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

All done with oldies instrumentals I'm sure. Hey, you guessed it. I was an extra from Krush Groove. That's what was up with my doo-rag. Had to keep the waves tight luv..

12:58 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>Had to keep the waves tight luv..

Mr. Cage,

You're keeping a WHOLE LOT MORE than waves tight!!! LOL!!

1:53 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>You're keeping a WHOLE LOT MORE than waves tight!!! LOL!!

Nzyme, try keeping your lips and your legs tight.LOL!!

2:01 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Goldi....good luck with the ARTS FAIR!!!!Just don't STARE at the "morphing" animals too long. One might just "morph" right into something totally uncalled for. Then , they would have to close down the fair , and call the ASPCA to separate your scandalous ass from a felt snake.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Luke Cage: lessee its a mix some David Bowie, Wu-Tang, Prodigy, Earth Wind & Fire, Ennio Morriconne--I'm all over the place.

Nzyme: Slow your roll girl! He married.

Soundboyz: LOL thanks. And these goodies stay in the jar.;->

3:31 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>Nzyme, try keeping your lips and your legs tight.LOL!!


Hey,
I was just giving a compliment! If Mr. Cage looks good, he LOOKS GOOD!!

And Soundboyz,

If I suck TOO HARD, he'll pass out!! If I grip TOO TIGHT, he'll suffocate!!! I thought you were concerned for his safety!!

4:40 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

^ Suck...grip...I just had the above conversation with Mr. Homie Goodfriend! Soundboyz may be right--this arts-n-crafts thang may have me spun and sprung out!

5:03 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>^ Suck...grip...I just had the above conversation with Mr. Homie Goodfriend! Soundboyz may be right--this arts-n-crafts thang may have me spun and sprung out!

Goldi, I don't think Nzyme was talking about the fatality move for Sub Zero!Remember Goldi, you can do it, there's a hero in you, and I think his name is Mr. Homie Goodfriend !!! Seriously, have fun Goldi.

Nzyme.......WHAT THE HELL!!!!EVER!!!!!!

5:25 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>Then , they would have to close down the fair , and call the ASPCA to separate your scandalous ass from a felt snake.

ROFL!!!!

Maybe THAT'S what's wrapped around your leg!!!!

5:31 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Maybe THAT'S what's wrapped around your leg!!!!

O.K. Nzyme , you got that one !!!LOL!!LOL!!Very FUNNY!!!!

6:10 PM  
Blogger Brother Grimm said...

am i the only one here who thinks all this bikering could be ended if everyone regardless of gender just maintained open relationships?

7:50 PM  
Blogger Brother Grimm said...

am i the only one here who thinks all this bikering could be ended if everyone regardless of gender just maintained open relationships?

7:50 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>am i the only one here who thinks all this bikering could be ended if everyone regardless of gender just maintained open relationships?

>am i the only one here who thinks all this bikering could be ended if everyone regardless of gender just maintained open relationships?

Brother Grimm,

Short-term memory loss, huh??

9:35 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Nzyme....... you should star in a new t.v. serious called.... Desperate Blog Wives!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:47 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

> Nzyme....... you should star in a new t.v. serious called.... Desperate Blog Wives!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soundboyz,

Is that a proposal??

10:25 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:34 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

> HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you sure??

10:36 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!

11:09 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

What the? Why am I not surprised that you superheroes are still going at it?

Nzyme, thanks for the compliments luv! I'm not sure, because I was browsing quickly over the past entries..I read something about "tight". "grip" .."sucking".."very hard"... Not bad for a Friday evening!-lol

Soundboyz...whattup man? "desperate blog wives?" - sounds like the title of a post or something. Hell Yes!

11:16 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Mr. Cage,

Please overlook Soundboyz. He is such a Sexually Repressed Pervert!! He was worse than this when we first met, but Goldi and I have since managed to make him loosen up that damn CHASTITY BELT!! I told him if he keeps it up, his nuts will fall off from a lack of circulation!! Plus, he probably has a terrible case of jock itch!! Maybe THAT'S why he's SO GRUMPY!!

9:41 AM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

> HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!


You don't really mean it. But I understand..... (I can't breeeaaattthheee!!!)

9:43 AM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Hello, Goldi. I know that you're busy today, but if you happen to get this message, I have a question. Today is my ex's birthday. Besides a threesome, what would be a nice gift?

9:44 AM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

A-ha!! See, I don't have cable, so I don't watch Desperate Housewives (I'll catch it on DVD.). BUT, I was over at Tish's spot where she did a post summarizing the show. Here's an excerpt:

"Scrubbing down the whips For many of our clientele, fetishes have torn apart their marriages. Rex and Bree have designed their program to address such issues like how clean can a kitchen be, how many leather restraints are too many, and the ever popular holding a grudge over your spouse's head indefinitely. Their dual sessions combine housekeeping hints with bondage techniques that are sure to help any couple in crisis. Bree will explore with those interested just how deep you can bury anger while Rex teaches the meaning of a safe word. This is one of our most popular classes so registration is limited at this time."

Soooo, I'm suppising that I'M BREE. I'll have to check this chick out. If she's a FREAK, she's ALRIGHT with me!!

Sorry I'm not up on current events and sitcoms. I guess I'm too busy feeling GOOD VIBRATIONS!!

10:25 AM  
Blogger Imara said...

>You don't really mean it. But I understand..... (I can't breeeaaattthheee!!!)

LOL!!! Sorry, Nzyme, maybe you didn't see the post from a ways back, but Soundboyz and I already jumped the broom! We're Blog husband and wife now.

12:12 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Nzyme, WHATEVER LUV!!!!!

12:17 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>LOL!!! Sorry, Nzyme, maybe you didn't see the post from a ways back, but Soundboyz and I already jumped the broom! We're Blog husband and wife now.

Imara,

Now you of ALL people know that I am merely pulling Soundboyz' felt snake!! He called me desperate---I'm merely acting the part.

1:05 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Soundboyz and I already jumped the broom!

What are you, a slave Imara? See,you need to get out of that slave mentality and stop thinking opressed!!!We are not in Africa Imara, we don't jump brooms anymore.

1:06 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>I'm merely acting the part.

.......AND CUT !!!!!!!THE SHIT!!!!!

1:07 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>.......AND CUT !!!!!!!THE SHIT!!!!!

Well, you COULD just move to a country that practices polygamy Daddy Felt Snake!!

1:10 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Imara,

Now you of ALL people know that I am merely pulling Soundboyz' felt snake!!

Stop IT!!!Although, Goldi said she NEVER felt snake like mine!!!

1:14 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Well, you COULD just move to a country that practices polygamy Daddy Felt Snake!!


Nyzme.....Grow up!!!!

1:15 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>Nyzme.....Grow up!!!!

Sounds like your snake GREW DOWN!!

1:55 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

I just spoke to Goldi , she said she ended up trading all her Rasta bling rings and 4 Rasta purses for a 13" felt snake.Goldi also says that she is really tired now, but she will write about it later .She sends her love!

7:38 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

>Now you of ALL people know that I am merely pulling Soundboyz' felt snake!! He called me desperate---I'm merely acting the part.

Nzyme, I think you mistook my joke as a serious comment. I understood that Soundboyz was calling you "desperate", I was just merely adding to it.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Soundboyz > Stop IT!!!Although, Goldi said she NEVER felt snake like mine!!!

That's because it was like a felt worm.

Soundboyz > I just spoke to Goldi , she said she ended up trading all her Rasta bling rings and 4 Rasta purses for a 13" felt snake.Goldi also says that she is really tired now, but she will write about it later .She sends her love.

You know damn well haven't talked - but you are pretty on target with what I sold. And my obsession was this pinky fuzzy/furry thing this guy made, he also had champagne glasses filled with and a box full of "free sexy gumballs".

7:13 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

.....Now what the hell is this SHIT!!! I leave my house for two days and:

Imara and Soundboyz have consummated their relationship as partners-in-blog;

Nyzme is trying to see Luck Cage's Power Man; and

Soundboyz has gotten into using stuffed animals as masterbation toys.

WTF People!

7:16 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Soundboyz has gotten into using stuffed animals as masterbation toys.

>And my obsession was this pinky fuzzy/furry thing this guy made,

9:12 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>Nyzme is trying to see Luck Cage's Power Man


WTF? Goldi, I am not trying to see Luke Cage's anything. What I AM about to do is kick Soundboyz' ASS in his Word Association post. Tune in tomorrow...

12:47 AM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT big dicks TO FIND big dicks

1:30 AM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT sexual enhancement TO FIND sexual enhancement

3:47 AM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT sexual enhancement TO FIND sexual enhancement

2:19 PM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT natural penis enlargement TO FIND natural penis enlargement

5:41 AM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT penis enlargement TO FIND penis enlargement

9:16 PM  
Blogger blogger1272 said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a penis enlargement reviews site. It pretty much covers penis enlargement reviews related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

10:53 AM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT natural penis enlargement TO FIND natural penis enlargement

1:10 PM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT big dicks TO FIND big dicks

9:12 PM  
Blogger usersanonimos said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT sexual enhancement TO FIND sexual enhancement

1:09 PM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT penis enlargement TO FIND penis enlargement

2:34 PM  
Blogger usersanonimos said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT big dicks TO FIND big dicks

2:34 PM  
Blogger usersanonimos said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT penis enlargement product TO FIND penis enlargement product

12:02 PM  
Blogger pumice resources said...

I am glad I found this post. it helped me with something I was thinking about. Nice blog!

My wifes crafts shop has similar issues...

Nice to meet you, have a great day!

12:42 PM  
Blogger badgirlzz said...

Interesting blog you have here, I landed here on accident. I was searcing for something else and came across your site. I found it pretty interesting and entertaining. I got you book marked.

I will pop back in from time to time to see what you have new here.

My site is a bit different than yours, but just as entertaining and educational, I run a best penis extender related site pertaining to best penis extender related articles.

1:27 PM  
Blogger musica said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT big dicks TO FIND big dicks

6:19 AM  
Blogger usersanonimos said...

YOUR BLOG IS GOOD, IT IS REALLY NICE. HERE YOU CAN LEARM MORE ABOUT big dicks TO FIND big dicks

8:09 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home