Tuesday, May 03, 2005

F***! It is Unladylike To Curse...(Today) I Ain't No Lady!!!

This noooooooooo good! It is 2:15 and I have dismantled two bikini tops. They were supposed to be completed yesterday. But nooooooooooooooooo!

Last night I popped in the tape of Snake and Crane Secret and the DVD of Enter the Dragon. I'm like all hyped--Yeahhh! Kung Fu!!! Psyche (Sike)! I passed out within the first 30 minutes of S&C. Even worse, I was musing about Mr. Homie Goodfriend who stopped by earlier. I was discussing my workout routine. He commented on what my target areas should be and the fact that I'm dope, but have no ass (everyone is waiting for the day I yell timberrrrrrrr - I'm top heavy)... To demonstrate this further I put his hand on my hip bone. Dramatic pause...silence...and we both smiled. I opened up my door and pushed his black ass out.


I'm trying to find out why the hell that when I need to be the most creative nothing is working for me. Then I remember last night's dream... I was making felt sculptures (like the one in the previous post--Meghan made it I don't do felt), but they were limp and needing to be assemled. I was going crazy with the needle to make them fatter--not working. Then I find this antique crochet hook, I decide I do not need it I already one that size. But then I study it and I realize its true value and I am grateful to have found it. Hmmm what does it all mean?


Fuck! Back to my creative drought. Why is everything going wrong for me? My shit has to be dope and set for Sa'urday.

Oh.....I've been sober for two mofo days!!! That's it!!!


Update: I decided to blow the last four hours surfing the web to lighten up my mood. Thanks to Mrs. Plinkington for posting this cool ass 80s video game site.

62 Comments:

Blogger soundboyz said...

Goldi , I am not an expert, but if you had brought this up on Friday, during Free Friday's Friendly Forum,the expert panel may have been able to better understand.

But from what I am reading, it seems as if you are suffering the effects of sexual tension repression....It is often found in the inner cities and heavily black populated areas.Black women are %77 more likely to suffer from this than their white counterparts . It is manifested in your dream about the felt creations(phallic symbol), an d your need for it to become "fatter" instead of being "limp". This is a classic example of a dream manifestation of your attempts at sexual repression.

As for your figure , I just think you suffer from Chinese woman's ass!!!Enjoy those movies!

5:05 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

^ That last comment...politically incorrect.

Thank you Mr. Mofo Freud/Jung! Sad to say you may have a point. I was thinking of Mr. Homie Goodfriend before I fell asleep...and I refuse allow him to go past the sitting room.

5:26 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>.and I refuse allow him to go past the sitting room.

I don't understand.....can you hook up your playstation in the bedroom?

7:24 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

i moved that to my living room. i won't even allow him in there. we were discussing stenciling t-shirts in my backyard, he was like yeah...we can do that nekkid (naked).

7:35 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>we were discussing stenciling t-shirts in my backyard,

I bet you were......Listen Goldi, I think you're frustration is coming out even when you try to write about it.It is manifesting itself in the form of sexually suggestive writing.I think you should write even more and try to work through it that way.

8:25 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Brother Reverend Doctor Soundboyz,

I too suffer from Chinese woman's ass!! Help!! I've tried EVERYTHING, from fake butts to squats to anal sex. NOTHING WORKS!! What's a flat-assed Black Woman in America to do? Must I wear t-shirt that says, "I stood in the tittie line TOO LONG"??? How about, "MORE BRAINS THAN ASS"??? Should I save up for injections?? Thanks to rap music and BET, if you ain't got a BIG BOOTY, you're a disgrace to the race! HEEELLPP!!

8:52 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

LOL! I had something to say to you Goldi, but I lost my train of thought from the comments up in here. You guys are a riot! nzyme...? I am speechless luv. Goldi, I'll get back to you when I remember what I was going to comment about :)

6:51 AM  
Blogger Goldi said...

luke cage: i thought i was the only mutant that had the ability to make every conversation and thought sexual at will...then i met those two.

i also can:
make everything glitter at will; get in the club and drinks for free;
take yo cash faster than a speeding bullet; and
make the world revolve around me (for a limited time).
i'm a hybrid of Storm, Dark Phoenix, Scarlet Witch, Dazzler and Binary/Ms. Marvel. my uniform is an orange and white version of Black Mamba's (Kill Bill Vol. I)

7:39 AM  
Blogger Goldi said...

nzyme: i go into stencil t-shirt production in june. "MORE BRAINS THAN ASS" shirts comming soon.

i'm sure soundboyz is going to say something stuuupid, like our brains must be in our titties...

7:43 AM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Mr. Cage,

I already checked out your place. Nice, nice. Also saw a link to the post about the luv of your life, but couldn't read it. Needless to say, I was sad to see that you're TAKEEEENN, but, thanks for the EYE CANDY anyway!! Could hook us up with some graphics for the t-shirts?? You know we need all the help we can get!! Big Tits need to reclaim the THRONE!!

10:36 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

O.K. Listen, we need to stay away from the subject of SEX!!!!I was just deciphering Goldi's repressive dreams, but realized in doing so, I might actually have made the situation worse by discussing the very topic she is trying to repress.Listen, I will say this , and then I will leave the topic alone, Goldi, you cannot repress what is natural to begin with. It will find a way to come out.......I mean manifest itself if one does not act on said motivations.Sexual repression can lead to other side effects and unwanted consequences.For example, Goldi, do you notice that your hands and fingers begin to ache and cramp up when you crochet ? If they do , you might be showing the initial stages of carpal tunnel syndrome!Please Goldi, be careful.

11:34 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

As for flat butt syndrome.....you can simply get Botox for the buttocks!!!That's right ladies, instead of opting for the painful and intrusive butt implants, women can now get Botox shots in the buttocks. The results only lasts for a few months at a time , but it is definitely a better alternative to implants!!


Just one thing, you have to make sure that you are getting the Botox injections from a reputable doctor or else you might have an allergic reaction, and this can result:
http://www.drunkcow.com/files/picture/13883538.jpg

11:46 AM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

I remember what I had to talk to you about Goldi. Are you a big fan of Wushia flicks? And have you seen House of Flying Daggers and Hero? Bruce Lee is the absolute best of all time and Enter the Dragon is my alltime favorite Bruce Lee film.

Oh damn! Soundboyz got me with that link. That was entirely too much bootee. I will tell you, he's right about that injection thingie. The alternative may be better than the implants. I didn't believe it until I read an article on that very subject in the Vibe magazine last year! There are women hungry for future cabooses!

NZYME; thanks for the compliments luv. And blogger did something stupid to my old posts. None of them are showing up! But I'm always willing to lend my art skills for the cause. And don't knock the top-heaviness. They represent very well! ;)

12:04 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Looks good to me!! I always did want an ass so big I could walk around with Route 44 Dr. Pepper on and never spill a drop!!

12:04 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Um you can put a cafeteria tray on that azz! ...looks like 4 smoked hams! (well too pale for the smoked part.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

LMAO!!!! That would work too!! You know, I was a nerd in high school. So, I always toted around WAY TOO MANY books. My arms always felt like they were coming out of the sockets. If I'd had THAT ASS, I could've toted around my ENTIRE LOCKER and part of the library---AND my CAFETERIA TRAY!! Some people just have it all!!

12:48 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Nzyme: my sentiments exactly on Mr. Cage... i hear stair master works to plump that rump. Mr. Homie Goodfriend says that more sex makes the bootay larger.

Luke Cage: no i didn't see HoF - it was in this lame town for one week only. i have a god-brother in Boston that has a Ku-Fu video store (aptly titled Kung Fu Video), so i will be receiving that and Heroic Trio 1&2 this summer. Remember in the 70s/80s when the flicks would come on channel 5 (or was it 11) on Saturday's at 3?

I also recieved my first comic-Wonder Woman, of course-at the tender age of 5 (or was it 6).

Soundboyz: There is nothing repressed about my sexuality. You're the one that gave up women and uses a blow up doll!

12:49 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>Mr. Homie Goodfriend says that more sex makes the bootay larger.

He's FIBBING!!

I get enough of that to give MS. COWBOOTY a run for the money!! He's just trying to get SOME or SOME MORE!!

1:05 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Hmmm you may have a point...I also then should have assive massive.

2:29 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Remember in the 70s/80s when the flicks would come on channel 5 (or was it 11) on Saturday's at 3?

Goldi, I remember this . It was at three on channel 5 (FOX)On Saturdays, in the 70's and 80's .Although, Ch. 11 (WPIX) use to show some good Thrillers.But I saw a few of them from there. I saw 5 Deadly Venoms, Drunken Master and a few others. Wow, Goldi, you just brought me back to that time and place.Thank you.

4:05 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Oh damn! Soundboyz got me with that link. That was entirely too much bootee. I will tell you, he's right about that injection thingie. The alternative may be better than the implants. I didn't believe it until I read an article on that very subject in the Vibe magazine last year! There are women hungry for future cabooses!

Wattup Luke Cage. I hope I didn't scare you with that. I'm just trying to show these ladies that there is a negative side to body augmentation.I am trying to let them know that it's all in their heads. Hey , real men think that any bootie is more than enough, because it's more than they started with in the first place.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

Soundboyz: I hear you man. Naah, you didn't scare me, but that link took up alot of my screen! I think it actually wobbled a little bit too when it opened. Oh man, you and Goldi are Kung fu Video junkees!

It definitely was channel 5! I can still remember that ridiculous theme song before the movie began. that Yah-yah-yah-yah...from 3 to 5pm. Then at approximately 5 after 5, all the neighborhood kids were on the grass in front of the projects practicing and play fighting with the techniques of what they had just seen! How cool was that y'all???

5 DEADLY VENOMS??? Man, you are on point. I always said if I could make a movie, I would make a stellar remake of that one with Jet Li. Alot of people knocked the sequel from 1978, Return of the 5 Deadly Venoms. I thought that was one of the best sequels ever made. It complimented the first, worked further on the storyline and you know it wasn't to make a buck but because that movie could not simply end when it did.

Goldi-Luv, you are in luck. HOFD is on video. Now, it had promise,but I wouldn't rush to see it. I was a little disappointed, but the visuals were pretty nice. Not as nice as Hero though. And Ong Bak is nasty too. The first comic I read was a Christmas gift from my sister. It was that giant-sized Marvel Treasury Edition of THOR when I was about 7 or 8! It was on from there. I still have about 10,000 comics. What the??? Comics suck nowadays.

Did anyone see Sin City?

NZYME:!!! I swear. Everytime you open your mouth you leave mine gaping from shock. :O

"I get enough of that to give MS. COWBOOTY a run for the money!! He's just trying to get SOME or SOME MORE!!"
-LMAO!!! Can't knock his hustle right?

5:52 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

after the 5th round i giggled - i'm sure you've seen this. http://www2.b3ta.com/spidermanwillmakeyougay/

Luke Cage: Sin City, I soooo want to see it. Robert Rodriguez has re-earned my respect. I heard he left the Director's Guild Thingamajigie because they would not give the comic creator credit for direction.

I really want to see Hitch Hikers...I've read all the books and I've watched the BBC version on channel 13 (in my teens).

I've lost my comics in college storage and due to time. I had some early Sandmans (DC Vertigo) and all the mutant massacre stuff. Hell, remember Secret Wars and the Beyonder? I've been engaged to two fanboys and heavily in love with a sequential art major to compensate %-p

Soundboyz: You rememberthe 70s and what the 80s we like? I thought you were 16...oh you just act that way.

10:20 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

See, you're just childish Goldi. You're young in the mind and light in the buttcheeks((). Sorry , that was a low blow. But I will keep it real and say this......I remember catching fireflies the night of the blackout , and I cried the day that Elvis died because if you remember, channel 5 , 7, and 11 always showed all the Elvis movies!

10:36 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>http://www2.b3ta.com/spidermanwillmakeyougay/


Goldi, if you EVER link to some stupid bullshit like this again, I will stop visiting here and ban your I.P.!!And you think that I act 16?

11:16 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

^lol! i should have banned you a longggg time a go.

...i watched elvis too.

i remember watching F-troop on channel 11 and Abbott & Costell at 11 on Sundays.

omigosh the blackout...i vaguely remember that! i remember being at my cousin's party (she's 4 years older and i was definitely the youngest there) and we played blackout '7?. the lights go out and everyone starts kissing - there were boys there (no homo). i was like oooo y'all are kissing and i was afraid of the dark.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

Heyyy Soundboyz. You're not lying man. They used to play alot of Elvis movies on tv back then. I couldn't get into them though, my attention span was shot. Are you guys referring to the Blackout of '77?

Goldi, the first Secret Wars was tight, but I didn't like the second one. The Beyonder, next to Korvac, Ultron, Doctor Doom and the souped up Count Nefaria are the best Marvel villains ever!

7:57 AM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>Sin City, I soooo want to see it.

Goldi,

I hate to be a bubble burster, but I have to tell you: SIN CITY SUCKS!! I'm sure it isn't the author's fault, but instead, the director's. The stories would be wonderful if it wasn't for all that first person narration. They need to SHUT THE HELL UP and just let the story tell itself. Also, the bad cop CANNOT ACT!! I hate it when a person gets paid just to mouth lines with NO SKILL WHATSOEVER. Oh, well, that's my spiel on the damn thang. Check it out for yourself.

10:45 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> They need to SHUT THE HELL UP and just let the story tell itself.

Yea , you tell em Nzyme!!!!!!WHAT THE HELL EVER!!!!!

Luke Cage, I think it was the blackout of 77. I was young also.All I remember is catching those fireflies, and people wylin out and breaking into stores.
O.K. you might not be into Elvis, but I know you had to have seen some Thrillers and some Tarzans.

And Goldi, see , i think i'm starting to understand where your fear of being with the opposite sex in the dark comes from. It must have stemmed from that traumatic incident, and you have been trying to repress it ever since! You poor thing. I think this is where you also developed your "fondness" for stuffed animals.

11:14 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>i remember watching F-troop on channel 11 and Abbott & Costell at 11 on Sundays.

Exactly!!!!O.K. since you want to go there Goldi,do you remember The Six Million Dollar Man and Daniel Boone on ch.9. Daniel Boone on ch.9 might be too far back for you , Ch.9 also had Buck Rogers and Battlestar Galactica. Wait, Remember Ch. 11 showed a lot of Star Trek, that was the best!

11:21 AM  
Blogger Imara said...

What about The Greatest American Hero? Can't forget about that one. And you can't bring up Six Million Dollar Man without mentioning, Wonder Woman! But my all time favorite is The Incredible Hulk. "Don't make me angry... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." I use to get scared when Bill Bixby would change into the Hulk, but I still watched, and waited for that moment in the show.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Soundboyz: I have a fondness for stuff in pants not stuffed animals. Star Trek it was at 6 or 6:30 on Channel 11 on Saturdays.

I had the hots for Starbuck now he's a lesbian (no homo) in the new one.

Imara: It was allabout Jaime Summer girl Bionic Woman.

And remember Oh Mighty Isis and Electro Woman and DinaGirl--y'all can't handle that.

Believe it or now I'm walking on air
I cannot believe I'm freee
something...something...on a wing and a prayer
Who could it beeeeeeeee
Believe or not its just meeee

or the Mad Magazine version of last verse
....so much is wrongggggg
including this hot rotten songggggg

12:09 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

Yes, Goldi, can't sleep on The Bionic Woman.

LOL!! I thought of the theme, to The Greatest American Hero, too!! I can't get the damn thing out of my head. Is the "something something"... "flying away"?

Oh Mighty Isis, was my girl!! My cousins and I use to play in the back yard for days!! I always had to be Oh Mighty Isis!

What about Charlie's Angels?

12:23 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

Soundboyz,

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Now, obviously I need to enlighten you city folk on growing up in the sticks. We watched HeeHaw and the Lawrence Welk Show. Early mornings found me tuned into Superstation WTBS where I faithfully followed Batman & Robin, Bewitched, Little House On The Prairie, The Andy Griffith Show, mama's Family, and My Favorite Martian. As far as cartoons, I watched TARZAN, Looney Tunes, the Justice League, and Speed Racer. I had a crush on Speed Racer. Remember this? I'll bet ya don't, 'cause it's PURE COUNTRY!!

"Where, oh where are you to-night?
Why did you le-ave me here allll alone?
I searched the world over and thought I found true love.
You meeet ano-ther and "FRRRRTT" you were gone!!!"

12:41 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

>"Where, oh where are you to-night?
Why did you le-ave me here allll alone?
I searched the world over and thought I found true love.
You meeet ano-ther and "FRRRRTT" you were gone!!!"

LOL!!! I remember this, Nzyme! We use to change the words to "You laid another and Frrrt, you were gone" The "laid" referred to the fart sound. We were silly kids!

I use to watch Lawrence Welk with my Grandmother all the time. I loved the bubbles!

1:31 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

O.K WE GET IT!!!!WE ARE AGING LOSERS WHO CAN'T LET GO OF THE PAST!!!!:(

I noticed that you ladies remembered all the women empowering shows like Wonder Woman and Bionic Woman.That's odd , because I remember those, but I seem to remember Superman, Spider Man(until Goldi showed us that crap),and the Six Million Dollar Man.. The Hulk is MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!!!I AM THE HULK!!!The end!!!

1:59 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

That song I do not remember. How about. The rest I do I spent my summers with Daddy in Nashville.

Here he comes here comes Speed Racer
He's a demon on wheels
He's a wheelin' and he's going somewhere
Dun Dun Dun Dun
Something,something something Mach 5

Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer Goooooooo! (I have the sexy techno remix of this).

Remember Voltron! Form head and torso. Form feet and legs!

2:13 PM  
Blogger Nzyme said...

>(I have the sexy techno remix of this).

I WANT IT!!

2:41 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Remember Voltron! Form head and torso. Form feet and legs!

Sounds like the description of you , Goldi!!!!!

4:18 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

This is my mofo blog. I gets the last word here....Get out!

4:31 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

NO YOU DON'T!!!!!!!!

5:07 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Yeah I do. My name is on this here blog.

6:52 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> I always had to be Oh Mighty Isis!

No Sh*t!:(

10:09 AM  
Blogger Imara said...

>No Sh*t!:(

Didn't Goldi kick your behind out along time ago?!

10:36 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

(()+ :D = Thank you!!!

11:16 AM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Thanks Imara! Now, Soundboyz go play with yourself..er, Dolly.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Imara said...

>Thanks Imara!

Don't mention it, Goldi. I always got a sistahs back!

11:51 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> Thanks Imara! Now, Soundboyz go play with yourself..er, Dolly.

WTF, GOLDI????

11:51 AM  
Blogger Goldi said...

WTF Soundboyz--get yo' playa hatin' azz O-U-T!

11:58 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> WTF Soundboyz--get yo' playa hatin' azz O-U-T!

Fine!!!!Then Imara has to leave too!!

12:06 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Nah she can stay. But you gots ta go!

12:31 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

What's going on up in here? What type of les be friends business type les be honest type les be on the up and up is going on in here?

2:06 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

um strickly dickly over here!

4:03 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> um strickly dickly over here!

Goldi, are you a morphing transvestite?Are you a "size queen " Goldi?

5:50 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

G-E-T-T-H-E-F-*-&-^-O-U-T Man!

6:59 PM  
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