Wednesday, May 18, 2005

So Bite Me - Venus & Mars Wars Parte Dos

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Back in 2002, I was visiting the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofía (Queen Sofía National Museum Art Center) in Madrid. I was musing to myself unlike Valencía, which located on the Mediterranean; I did not experience "high volume dating". (When I say dating I mean exactly that--nothing carnal [gutter-minds]. Props to brother Amadeo for labeling me a serial dater. Leave it to Shango to understand the inner-workings of Oshun. But I digress...). I was falling in love with Surrealist Joan Miró (pronounced whoan), when it happened. I met Italian Hewlett-Packard Guy (IHPG). Score!

Over paella and copious amounts of red wine, he springs it on me. "Why am I not married?" Self, "Whuh?" "Why don't I have any children?" Self, "Whuh? Huh?” Blah, blah, blah, my biological clock is ticking (my biowhutty?). Blah, blah, blah time to make some babies (uh, time for another glass of wine).

Little did I know this would become the bane of my thirtysomething existence.

Some will say its society, others the double standard moral code--too many single women over twenty-nine with many suitors are definitely predators and whores. I believe its fear. Generally people do not like to be alone; and they resent those that are emotionally independent. I choose how I live my life and who my lovers are. Plus, as an artist I go on “hermit stints”. Personally, I’m feelin’ that Johnny Cash song (I have) “A Satisfied Mind”.

Last year my two-year monogamous relationship (a milestone for me) dissolved. I was in this relationship for two reasons: 1. I was in love (you know that can make your common-sense quotient drop) and 2. I had to prove to the world that I was mature (F-it I have the Power Puff Girls on DVD). I personally believe the break-up was best thing that happened in me and Bro. Seven-Years-In-Undergrad-Film-Major’s relationship. Wow! Now I can roll around in my bed and "Enjoy the Silence" (Depeche Mode). Even better I resumed my dating life. That's right that is supposed to be the focus of this post.

I live in Savannah where the intellectual, international and African-consciousness pickin's are slim - but I make due. I have “friends” strategically placed through out the continental U.S. and then some. My critics are usually men who feel that I need to be *ahem* tamed. (Yo this is not the Chronicles of Narnia and I am not a white stag). The ones that are women - hatahs. I personally refuse to be in a relationship where we are always "working on it" or there are constant issues. And why don’t I have children? 1. I am not married. 2. Condoms are 99% effective.

Relationships especially committed ones are supposed to be fulfilling. Complementing. The Yin to the Yang. Balance. Some of us just require more Yangs to our Yin. ;-)

Spread love.

63 Comments:

Blogger Amadeo said...

I may be a bigger serial dater than you...I've never made it past the 6 month mark. While a long committed relationship is good...so is enjoying doing what the hell I want.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Luke Cage said...

Damn. After what Amadeo just said, specifically the last 2 sentences, I can't add anything more eloquent than that luv. As equally eloquent as the 1-2 points in your post. Do you miss Goldi.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

Goldi, if you're comfortable with your lifestyle, it shouldn't matter what other people think. That being said, I have to take issue with one comment... whenever you have two people that are close enough to share all of their emotions, you're going to have conflict- it's only natural. Part of the commitment is not being able to walk away when things get "rough". A real and solid relationship experiences ups and downs, as you learn and grow together.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Amadeo > I may be a bigger serial dater than you.

Not surprised.

Luke Cage: Word!

Imara > A real and solid relationship experiences ups and downs, as you learn and grow together

I concur. But I am talking about people who love to wallow in mess. I knew a young couple barely a week after marriage, "Yeah, well we're hangin' in there...working things out...". Seven days haven't passed and already drama.

I am comfortable with my lifestyle, I needed a new post. But I am tired of the poor baby/ may-be-she-likes-fish innuendos I get from people. I was trying to point out that you can be single and secure. Plus I am brainstorming material for another (sigh) project. My blog is a way of hammering those ideas out.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

>But I am talking about people who love to wallow in mess.

Usually these types of folks have "drama" in every aspect of their life.

>I was trying to point out that you can be single and secure.

I can certainly respect that.

11:43 AM  
Blogger mrspilkington said...

love this post.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Brother OMi said...

it sucks how folks expect you to be married with chilluns at a certain date. thats wack..

folks will do their thing when its time for them to do their thing

it should not matter where someone is relationship wise as long as they handle their business

heads need to play their position

just hold it down is all i ask..

10:34 AM  
Blogger Gunner Kaufman said...

Serial dater...hmmm, i got a three month time limit myself...but thats another story...
i to "enjoy the silence".

Few things are as comfortable as silence..and being able ot toss someone out MY DAMN HOUSE when i wish...

12:46 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

Honestly... what's "better", being single or being in a relationship?

1:15 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

um...dating

1:34 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Mrs. Plinkington: Thanks Mrs. P! Knitters have balls and crocheters are hookers. ;-)

iselfra > folks will do their thing when its time for them to do their thing...just hold it down is all i ask..

Word!

Gunner> Few things are as comfortable as silence..and being able ot toss someone out MY DAMN HOUSE when i wish...

Dude *points to eyes* we're here!

1:40 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

OK, we GET IT Goldi..........you're young and single and like to mingle!!!!But just remember, unless that pinkie thing IS a fertilized embryo, your ass only have but so long until Oesha will be your only damn kid!!!Come on Goldi, let's run away together and make a family!!!!!Just you and me baby!!!!

3:45 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Soundboyz - the pin furry thang is called Olesia. I missed you for a minurt, trust me that has faded. And sorry I don't date crack fiends.

And don't you have two children and a blow-up doll?

4:08 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> Soundboyz - the pin furry thang is called Olesia.

Oh......SORRY!!!!I called it by a wrong name!!!!!Please ....Forgive me!!!!!It's a damn thing.....whatever the hell it is!!!!

>And don't you have two children and a blow-up doll?

You're half right!!!!!!

4:43 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

> I missed you for a minurt, trust me that has faded.

Be nice to me, or else I'm leaving, and this time I'm not coming back!!!!!:( (()

4:45 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

^ You know you can't keep away from me. You looooooove the abuse.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

does soundboyz suffer from battered bloggers syndrome?

10:42 AM  
Blogger Goldi said...

lol, i think so. that or he is heavily into s&m.

11:36 AM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Goldi, you can tie me up and spank me silly, I don't care .As long as you wear that Indian outfit from this post!!!!!:()

11:46 AM  
Blogger Imara said...

>Goldi, you can tie me up and spank me silly, I don't care .As long as you wear that Indian outfit from this post!!!!!:()

Let's just hope she ties you up and leaves you tied up!! JK.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

...and locked away in a closet.

1:35 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

...and then loose the key.

2:30 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

See, that's why a brother can get along better with a white woman, because she would wear the outfit and know how to have a good time in fun.Then, she also knows the panic word, and would stop playing and let a brother out!!!!Black women are BITTER!!!!!:(

2:39 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

>Then, she also knows the panic word, and would stop playing and let a brother out!!!!

LMAO!!!!!! Did someone forget the "panic word" one time, and stay locked up too long?! LMAO!!!

2:48 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

>Then, she also knows the panic word, and would stop playing and let a brother out!!!!

LMAO!!!!!! Did someone forget the "panic word" one time, and stay locked up too long?! LMAO!!!

That Sh*t IS NOT EVEN FUNNY IMARA !!!!!!!:( I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE !!!!!

3:04 PM  
Blogger Coffey0072 said...

Goldi
boooy do I commiserate with you. I blogged about this a few times on my online journal. How women especially, love to try to make me feel bad, because I'm still single, and how men (usually older, wanna-be sugardaddies) angry because I'm too smart and too indy to let them take advantage of me, try to explain to me condescendingly, why I'm probably still single. Many women who're attached or married, think I'm having lurid, underground, gangbangs every weekend, just because I'm single and they aren't.
People need to live and let live. I hate being made to feel bad, because at 27, I'm not married and preggars yet. To hell with them!

3:39 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

WORD COFFEY F-ING WORD! Wow you get it that crap and you're not even 30!

People are generally insecure and feel a need to belong and attached. Somethings "wrong" if you are too independent. Yeah hell wit dem.

4:40 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Hey Goldi, I am sorry that I brought it up !!!!It won't happen AGAIN!!!!

4:59 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

If anything those comments should have been here. But WE KNOW your Ritalin ass likes to be all over the place.

Like the porn stars in committed relationships interesting topic - it just belongs here.

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