Thursday, June 16, 2005

Uranus Goes Retrograde or Is My Ass On Backwards?

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My sistren, my brethren, mi gente. Have you ever dreamed the impossible dream? Now is the time when they all can come true. From June 14 until November 15 Uranus goes retrograde. Don't forget Neptune is still having a field day with everybody as well.

For all this will be a time of emotion. Uranus is affecting the grand trine of emotions - the water signs Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio. Also, those of you who are parents – those children will “act a fool” for a while. Time to get the grandparents involved and tap dat azz.

Uranus is the spirit of revolution and rebellion, combine this with Neptune going retro, illusion with revolution. Remember that REM song? “It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I feel fine.” You may start to wonder what it is you want in life. You will start to second guess yourself. Go seek your elders and spiritual advisors, you will be absolutely confused.


Oh and your money’s screwed. The majority of us will have to hustle to hold it down. Those of us born mid-March may find themselves with extra savings. Ironically, this is a good time for partners and partnerships, both business and romantic. (Hey, I just met someone who may be good for both. I will not be writing about him, he may be reading this).

From a personal stand point I am already brooding. Tuesday, after checking my finances, I was so pissed I weed-wacked my front lawn for 4 1/2 hours roasting and baking in 92 degrees sun (we won't even discuss the heat index). (Now I have to find a private garden to sunbathe in. I’m now three different shades). I was so hot (flame on!) I did not notice the external heat. What was more annoying was the men offering assistance, whilst I was almost done. I’m like you mofos knew I had a jungle out here where were the offers before? Now I’m out here in a skimpy tank top with boobs for days, “Sista, you are so beautiful, you need some help?” WTF. Next time my lawn needs work, I will just lay out topless and spread eagle eating oranges, and see what happens. A friend of mine stopped by and noticed that my lawn is down to the ground (oh yeah, I was pissed) while she was laughing, “Wow you won’t have to cut again until July”. (Actually, I think what is left is a combination of mulch, roots and dirt - it's all brown).

Yesterday me and my best friend consumed 1/2 a fifth of Pepe Lopez con Corona. When I went home I had two additional double shots. For breakfast (today) two double shots. Oh yeah, that nasty attitude intern caught hell from me on the bus (heh, heh, heh). Hey if I speak, ya better holla back.

Oh yeah back to the astrological tips...
When Uranus is in retrograde the change is on the inside. When both retrogrades are over we will be more self-aware and more spiritually in tune. But until then the majority of us will be broke emotional biscuits.

Just remember when it is all done you will be bigger and deffer than ever.


Want more? Click aqui Karma Astrology y aqui Daykeeper Journal.

23 Comments:

Blogger Gunner Kaufman said...

"Next time my lawn needs work, I will just lay out topless and spread eagle eating oranges, and see what happens."
"..me and my best friend consumed 1/2 a fifth of Pepe Lopez con Corona. When I went home I had two additional double shots. For breakfast (today) two double shots.".....
I figure if i start walking now, by the time i get to savanah, it should be time to mow your lawn. See you in a few!!!

12:04 PM  
Blogger soundboyz said...

Your ass is on backwards!

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Blogger Jdid said...

lol at least you get offers of help with the lawn

4:03 PM  
Blogger Imara said...

Damn. Right now I wish I was born mid-March.

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Blogger Brother OMi said...

no wonder, i am getting broker and broker

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Blogger Amadeo said...

Damn Mercury Metrograde...a brother can't make any deals!....I wonder if sitting spread eagle will convince anyone to mow my lawn....hmmmmmmm.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Goldi said...

Gunner: A bottle of Patron will be waiting for you.

Bro Omi: Yeah, this ish is crucial. It'll all be better mid-November.

Amadeo: Only if you are nekkid from the waist down!

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